What's the first thing you'd do as King Of POPWORLD?
'I would ban the Pussycat Dolls from within 50 miles of the kingdom.'
Would you change anything about the music industry?
'I would make A&R people only sign music that they like, not what they think will sell records. I just think you'd just have millions of brilliant acts like Feist and Radiohead everywhere, as opposed to manufactured, chasing the trend kind of stuff that we have a lot of. It's definitely not as bad in England, I'm thinking more of in the US.'
Where would you have your palace?
'I would have it in London somewhere, or maybe on the land in Scotland that the movie The Queen is set. It would be nice to have my palace near to the real Queen because we could be like, 'Hey, we're both royalty.' I like that movie The Queen because she seems like a really strong, iconic woman.'
What would be your National Anthem?
''Tears Of A Clown' by Smokey Robinson'
Describe your coronation, who would perform?
'Stevie Wonder. And maybe the Kings Of Leon, but I'd make them grow their beards back for ceremonial purposes. Oh, and Feist because I saw her last night and it was one of the best shows I've seen.'
So what would the party be like?
'It would be great. It would be a Lord Of The Rings-themed fancy dress party.'
Who would you dress up as?
'Maybe one of the orks, you know, one of the scary ones. Or Bilbo Baggins and attach blue hair to my feet.'
Your motto?
'"If you don't eat your meat you won't get any pudding." My mother always said it, and I remember it from Pink Floyd, too.'
King Mark's promise?
'No war.'
Who would be your advisors?
'I'd have Bill Clinton; Al Gore, because he's good on the environment; Stevie Wonder, he'd deal with the music side of things; David Sedaris, he's an author; and Ricky Gervais. Imagine if you could have that guy around all the time, you would just never be sad. You'd be laughing all the time. I saw Martin Freeman who plays Tim in The Office at the Feist show last night and I was really star struck.'
What would be illegal in your kingdom?
'People rapping out loud when they've got their headphones on. For some reason it doesn't bother me with singing, but rapping's just too much.'
What would be the punishment if people broke the law?
'I'd make them have to do a guest verse on a Pussycat Dolls song.'
Who would you banish from your kingdom?
'Right-wing American radio talk show freaks.'
Who would you have as your queen?
'Can it be my girlfriend? Yeah, I'd go with my girlfriend. She's English but she lives in America.'
What would be the national food and drink?
'Shepherd's Pie and Ribena. Everyone's teeth would be purple and falling out.'
Who would you knight?
'Maybe my friend Callum. I don't know him that well but whenever I see him he's off to do some charity thing. I think he probably will end up being knighted at some point so I'd knight him.'
Who would be your successor?
'It would have to be someone younger. Haley Joel Osment [the little kid from The Sixth Sense] but he's probably not that young anymore so no, that's no good. He might die before me. I'd pick my little brother Josh because he's smarter than I am and he's only 10.'
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